TLFN | MEME CONTINUATION POST

[privatepurchases]

IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL | IT'S JUST THE APOCALYPSE

Comments

[sauntered_downward]

Eden. He gave away his sword. I ruined all of mankind. It was basically kismet.

So if you feel this way and you're pretty sure they'd eat your heart, have you tried...I don't know, asking them out? Dinner? Movies? Killing people? That seems like something you both would like a lot.

/1

[privatepurchases]

HE GAVE AWAY HIS

/2

[privatepurchases]

It's fine. It's good. Well that explains a lot. There's technology wandering around somewhere that human beings will never be able to understand-

/3

[privatepurchases]

See I thought of that? But I smite and you guys sort of ooze and slither and it's kind of gross and I can't - like I sat and tried that and no. Just. no.

What if it's a movie about death?

I can sit through that right? I mean I sat through Ben Hur I can totally sit through something with ...murder.

and sin

Totally can.

/FIN

[privatepurchases]

Like something PG-13 rated that's not bad right?

[sauntered_downward]

Just ask them to a movie. They'll tell you what they want to see. You just buy the popcorn, why is this so hard?

Do you think I ever pick the movie? No, Aziraphale picks the movie. It works best that way.

[He won't even mention the sword again though.]

[privatepurchases]

popcorn. You know we just introduced popcorn upstairs. Unbuttered and no salt it's not that bad.

...And you just go along with it? I mean I'd imagine he likes things with lambs and decency and that doesn't seem like your...favorite thing.

[sauntered_downward]

Unbuttered and no salt? Seriously?

[privatepurchases]

yeah. I mean it's incorpreal so I feel fine about it. Still don't would food - all those squishy organs and just...It seems so weird.

Though I'll try a movie.

And I will let you tell Aziraphale but if you tell anyone else I'll tell them and let them do what they want to everyone involved.

[sauntered_downward]

I did tell you I was planning on posting this whole conversation to Snapchat, right?

You're not like Hell, right, you do know what Snapchat is?

[privatepurchases]

...Yes I know what snapchat is. Ours has nicer filters.

Heaven forgive me. I'll go message them and let them know.

[Big scary terrifying asshole eagle on the outside. considerably different on the inside obnoxious all over.]

[sauntered_downward]

You can also buy them flowers. People tend to like that. The gesture, if not the flowers.

[Not sure why Crowley has been authorized to give any relationship advice in this moment but we're accepting it here.]

[privatepurchases]

...I'll get them some half dead ones. They'll gather flies and

are you really going to tell everyone? Are you sure I can't convince you to just tell Aziraphale.

[sauntered_downward]

I'm definitely going to tell everyone. Including Aziraphale, though he'll definitely be rooting for you to succeed on your first date, I promise you.

[privatepurchases]

Maybe this is my punishment for trying to kill Aziraphale.

That makes sense.

Fine. Tell everyone. And I'll bring them...flowers and ask them to go to a movie.

[sauntered_downward]

Maybe tell them they're pretty. But not too pretty. Don't make it weird.

Jon Hamm's REALLY CREEPY HEADCANON FTW

[privatepurchases]

Do demons like that?

...They do have astonishing eyes.

I took Elizabeth Taylors I can appreciate that.

....What do you want in return for all of this I feel like I should do something.

OH MY GOD 1/

[sauntered_downward]

Do you want to know what you can do for me?

2/

[sauntered_downward]

Never.

3/

[sauntered_downward]

Text.

4/

[sauntered_downward]

Me.

FIN

[sauntered_downward]

Again.

Re: FIN

[privatepurchases]

[Gladly. He hangs up and braces himself for something terrible to happen the second all of this comes out.]