TLFN | MEME CONTINUATION POST

[privatepurchases]

IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL | IT'S JUST THE APOCALYPSE

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For <lj user="saintsbury_plant_minister"

[privatepurchases]

...Well my music's not a mess. I've had a millennia to practice.

Let us suppose however that you're right. What sort of food would you suggest I eat?

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

That's why I said 'until you learn to play properly'. Could've heard me when I first picked up a violin; pretty sure I ruptured a few ear drums in the near vicinity.


Hard to say. There's so many types, flavours - everywhere has different methods of cooking, even.


Can't go wrong with South Asian, though. Or Thai.

[privatepurchases]

[Not going to make a joke about the devil and fiddles, not going to make a joke about the devil and fiddles, not going to-]

there's more then sushi. That's what you're telling me?

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

[ And this is why he doesn't play much any more. That damn song ruined a perfectly fine hobby. ]

...Yeah. That's what I'm telling you.

You should spend more than five minutes here. It might surprise you.

[privatepurchases]

...Mm. No. Ever time I'm down there for five minutes I'm reminded that somebody encouraged them to get out of the garden and spawn and now the planet that we spent millennia working on for Her project has become a bit of a cesspool. It's going to take millennia to fix.

I mean I cosigned the dog's creation and they don't love those creatures nearly enough. Pigeons too. Look at how people treat pigeons.

I'm honestly surprised you're not outraged given your nature.

You convinced Aziraphale of all this however. So.

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

[ Oh, how he'd love to point out how never had to lift a finger to convince Aziraphale of anything much at all. The Angel of the Eastern Gate was almost as eager to go out into the field, as it were. Watch the humans evolve, what society become society. Hell, he'd been the one to introduce Crowley to certain things in the past!

But, his instinct is to tread carefully. Just in case. ]

Shouldn't try to fix what isn't broken, Gabe. Sure, they've made a bit of a tit of things, what with climate change and government corruption and decaff coffee, but it's not entirely awful.

Look, for every human that hates something, there's a dozen that love it. That includes pigeons. Surprised about dogs though; everyone around here seems to enjoy them.

'My nature', eh? I'd wager you know as much about my nature as I do about the taste of holy water.

[ Maybe not the best analogy, but fuck it. ]

[privatepurchases]

Government corruption - don't get me started. We're inundated with thoughts and prayers and I

[Nope. He shoves that aside.]

...Yeah the dog thing confuses me. Dogs are pure creatures. They're a gift. Apparently there are some people who don't respect that. And as for your nature I have yet to see anything to the contrary.

Aziraphale thinks that I'm tough. I think the word is...hard ass? And you think I'm awful but I've got a lot on my plate here. God has delegated management of the cosmos to me and the other archangels and I'm ...tired.

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

Well, I mean- I think you can be a prick, sure. And I think you could benefit from pulling your head out of your arse long enough to realise that just because the Earth isn't the same as it was back at the start, it's still beautiful, and the people on it don't deserve Armageddon.

But...no. I don't think you're 'awful'.

Not that I imagine you care, particularly.

You're doing a job. I get it. Still wouldn't hurt for you to lighten up though, just a little.

[privatepurchases]

I really don't

[Hard to tell what's that directed at.]

we're all cracking down on you folks, so. If you can't get me Aziraphale can you answer these questions?

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

[ W o w. ]

Questions.

Yeah sure, fuck it. Why not. It's not like I'm doing anything.

[privatepurchases]

[He is a jerk. :(]

What is. A lady Gaga.

/cackles

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

[ Give him a minute to just laugh, hang on. ]

She's a famous singer, performer, all round celebrity.

What does that have to do with 'us folks'?

XD

[privatepurchases]

he petitioned in - I want to say the 15th century? that we review the list of human entertainers that get into heaven. It was just approved so I'm researching.

She's devout? Holy?

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

Oh yeah, very devout.

A true example of piety if there ever was one.

[privatepurchases]

Well have fun with her for the rest of eternity.

Also that's not Judas.


Britney Spears is next on the list. Just as bad?

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

Yeah - Judas was much better looking.

Eh, I'd say she's alright.

Why don't you focus more on the ones that're close to popping their clogs..? Britney's still got some decades in her yet.

[privatepurchases]

You seem to know who's on their deathbed.

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

...Well not exactly, but I'm nothing if not an optimist.

[privatepurchases]

Not everything can be sound of music.

I need more names.

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

And for that I'm forever thankful.

Hang on, just so we're on the same page; you're asking a Demon

Nay, the serpent

for help



to do your Angelic work.

Am I following you here?

[privatepurchases]

And you're in-friendship with the angel of the eastern gate. What's your point.

I'm not happy about this either. You'll all straighten up though. Beelzebub and I are working on a plan.

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

[ 'In-friendship'. Yep. Friendship. Just gals bein' pals. ]

Nothing. Just kinda assumed you were above working with the likes of me.

...Oh?

[privatepurchases]

[Just a coupla dudes being-]

We're consolidating things and trying to facilitate they don't bathe as often as I'd like. They've agreed to in order for us to prevent friendships like yours again

[sainsburys_plant_mister]

[ Just a couple'a chums. ]

Not a lot of room downstairs for bathrooms and showers.

...Seriously? You complain about having too much on your plate but you're actually putting energy into making sure our lot don't mingle?

You realise that if others want to follow our example, they'll find a way to..? Doesn't matter what you do.

You won't make more obedient Angels or Demons. You'll just make sneakier ones.

[privatepurchases]

I have faith, and I'm confident my influence on Beelzebub will keep them in line.

We share a passion for efficiency! It's actually quite surprising how similar our two organizations have been running. Of course we're a bit more advanced but what the basement lacks in technology it makes up for in...ruthlessness.

It's a bit uncomfortable but again. It's all about time and influence. That dedication is admirable. Almost exciting.